with your own penis?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize