is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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