i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
