real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
