Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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