Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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