Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
