Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
