He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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