So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.