I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
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I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.