she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.