Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.