dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!