I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird