We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
