i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want her autograph on my taint
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My life is pants optional.
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