You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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