ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
