More tranny stories later!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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