u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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