2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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