I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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