Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Randomize
