I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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