Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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