Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
God I need to hump something, right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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