why do cheetos always look like penises
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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