I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
