Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
