Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
