Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
