R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
