i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
