I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
