honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
