Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
