Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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