I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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