Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
