I wish you could order shots online.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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