Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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