Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
