ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
