Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
