i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
