Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
