How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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