How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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