why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
