She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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