420 ftw
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Randomize
