Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
