She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So vagazzling was a success
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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