Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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