Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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