Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
