And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
