Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize