I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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