My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
